🎃 Halloween Sale
Furniture with benefits.
Intimate furniture without the weird energy. Built properly, shipped discreetly, and trusted by 2,000+ bold customers.
25% off tables + a free $79 Pound Pad with the MILKER
2,000+bold customers and counting
Discreet AF shippingPlain boxes. No product names.
Free fast US shippingOn every order.
30 day returnsNo questions asked.
Built properlyNo cheap materials. No shortcuts.
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★★★★★ 4.7MILKER
Halloween Sale
Shop the MILKER
The deal of the season.
MILKER milking table$519$389
POUND PAD waterproof blanketFits a queen bed. Protects your mattress.$79Free
Privacy curtainIncluded
Fast, discreet US shippingFree
Total value $598$389
You save $209
Freegift inside
Our deal
It's not that serious.
We make intimate furniture without the weird energy.
No dark corners. No need to hide what you're buying. Just well-made pieces that speak for themselves.
Discreet from order to delivery.
Shop by category
Pick your playground.
Tables→
Blankets→
The other bold stuff→
No surprises.
Discreet AF Shipping
We ship in plain boxes without mention of the product name.
Easy returns
We have a 30 days return policy.
Easy Setup
No complicated assembly. You'll get it up in no time.
Built properly
No cheap materials. No shortcuts.
Read it on Spicerack
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How to protect your bed during sex.
We wrote Spicerack’s guide to waterproof blankets: why towels and puppy pads fail, what a sealed waterproof layer actually does, and how to pick the right size.
- Why towels don’t cut it
- What makes a blanket truly waterproof
- Sizing, care and honest drawbacks
How it's built
Straight talk
All articles
From the blog.
